Sunday, June 2, 2013

I'm not drowning.

I'm not drowning, contrary to what I may be feeling.  Last week I walked out of my office and said to a friend, "it just ticks me off that I can't do everything!"  But I wasn't stressed.  Or so I was thinking as I was coming down with shingles.  I'm going to gloss over the seeming connection there (and appreciate you doing the same), but seriously.  I do not feel stressed.  I'm almost stressed at how unstressed I'm feeling.  I mean...

  • I'm asking for help all the time at work (and dying to myself by the moment).  
  • I'm looking forward with excitement at coming professional (new boss people) and personal changes.  
  • I'm having a ball with clothes recently (summer wardrobe > winter wardrobe).  
  • Heck, I'm even budgeting well!  
But I still feel like I'm drowning most days.  Drowning, not stressing.  What exactly is the difference, and what gives?  I feel like when I'm stressing I'm being driven by anxiety.  My fuel is worry (which is SO ungodly), and rest is far from me.  But this drowning feeling?  I'm resting-exercising-HAPPY, but I feel like I am on a constant tight-rope.  A slack on one thing will lead to something falling which will start a lot of other things falling.  Hmm.  Shingles are beginning to make more sense...

The quote that I wrote in the top of my work planner this past week was "peace is the atmosphere of Heaven."  I believe that, and believe that I can and am fully experiencing that in the here and now--even at my busiest.  My default "feeling" may be that I feel like I am drowning, but I know that that is not my reality.  The peace of Heaven is surrounding me even now.  I'm calling down that reality to where I am here and now.  So, ha-ha drowning feeling.

Now, onto lighter topics.  Like clothes.  I didn't have a ton of time most mornings because of some great runs but here I am...

  • Thank you Gap & Loft for being the main players this week.
  • Tuesday's black dress is going to the swap-pile party.  It's one of my favorites,  But it's obnoxiously too big.
  • I was pretty proud of pulling in stripes on the cardigan with stripes on my skirt.
  • I wore a LOT of pink this week.  Friday's shirt is a blush pink (my favorite shade).  When I saw some other gals at work also wearing pink I got excited and said, "oh we're all in pink!" but I was knocked down as not being pink.  Boo.  
  • The shingles on my neck kept me from wearing necklaces.  Whomp.  Thursday & Friday needed one.
Get excited!  Next week is Fashion Week : Summer Edition with Erika!

1 comment:

  1. I'm glad that you're not actually drowning (pretty sure I almost did during swim training today) and that you're letting me help you at work! Excited and scared for Fashion Week...I feel like my fashion has been basically absent lately, so I'm trying to figure out how to up my game this week!